Thursday, February 28, 2013


I had a lump in my throat as we entered Lincoln. 
It was strange driving into the town as a visitor. I was no longer coming home. My chest felt heavy as we drove by familiar routes through the town--so badly wanting to feel the comfort again. Truman had to be out of town for a few days so we decided to come visit friends and family. 

It had been a rough week. I knew the optimism of a new town wouldn't last forever, that there would be days where I stray from trusting the Lord and his will for our family. This last week was filled with those days. I was doubting the change. Hating the discomfort. Discouraged by the fact that we were having to start all over and build our life from the ground up. The longing for something familiar came over me and I started to really miss home for the first time since we left. I feared these feelings because I worried that I wouldn't be able to let them go once they settled in. I feared that I would never be able to move on and accept our new reality. After talking with my amazing husband (who, thankfully, knows exactly how I feel) and spending time in prayer and the word, I'm confident that one day these feelings will pass. I know that the Lord is present even in my discomfort and I trust that, in time, we will be able to call Omaha home. Or anywhere we end up. I'm learning to stop treating a location as my home and instead find home in Christ and my family. It's a long process. But I'm learning :)

We had a very nice visit and I think it was good for me to see old friends and spend time with family. 
I devoured a love knot from Love Knot coffee shop.
Penny got to snuggle in bed with the gals.
We got lots of Aunt Kal time which is always good for the soul.
We even ran into Aunt Ash while antiquing!
And we did a little spring shopping at the local consignment stores while we waited for Aunt Kal to get out of class.

I'm thankful for the life we had here in Lincoln. I'm finding that I can be grateful, but I'll need to let go of it in order to really embrace this change. And that's okay. Change is okay. My voice is still a little shaky when I say it, but it really is okay. AND we've already been so blessed with the friends we are making through our church and with old friends in town. Praise God for that!

Also...I'm so obsessed with this song it's ridiculous.


Allison Nichole said...

Always thinking of you, sweet friend. I was just saying to Randy as we were coming back from visiting his sister and brother-in-law (and our newest nephew!) in the hospital in Omaha that it's such a comforting feeling to be pulling off the interstate into Lincoln and release an involuntary sigh of relief. I get it. That's how I felt when our plane landed in Omaha too, coming back from Spain. I am so at ease by creature comforts I realized after Spain: casserole (and I don't even eat casseroles that often...go figure!), my own bed, familiar places, etc. This past summer, the women leaders did a study together and the week that stood out most to me was about home. Jordan, I can't even explain how much the Lord spoke to my heart through this. And now, working at The Mission and being with people (and children even) who don't really have a physical home in the way that I think we all crave, finding Jesus home has been all the more echoing, even though I am not sure what to do with that truth in light of the situation, but... anyway, would love to discuss this with you! Love your heart and thankful for your honesty.

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