Sick Day

Last night was the first time I bawled as I watched my helpless baby suffer in sickness.

Penny's cold has turned into a terrible, terrible cough and left us with a rough couple of days. We put her pack n play next to my side of the bed last night so I could monitor her coughing. I sat quietly in our dark room with only the light of the computer screen while Tru and Pen slept. The room was humid and heavily scented of eucalyptus oil. My phone was softly playing white noise sounds next to me. The whole family, sleeping in one little room. Despite my anxiety of her returning cough, I was so happy in that moment. I was reminded of those first months of Penny's life when she slept right next to mama in her crib. At the time I was sleep deprived and completely miserable with breastfeeding but I miss it all so terribly now. Those moments were so fleeting and I'm thankful that I could re-live them last night. 

I prayed heavily that the Lord would give me energy and endurance to care for her through the night and He did. She woke up a few times and as I scooped her up into my arms and fed her a bottle I felt her immediately relax. She was in her favorite spot, mama's arms. And as helpless as I felt, I knew that was the best thing I could give her. We snuggled into bed and I stroked that wonderful bald head until she drifted back to sleep. It's so true that even though it's awful when they're sick, they are SO cuddly. I will cherish those memories forever. 

I'm thankful to say she's doing better today. 

She's still a little fussier than usual so I'm trying to find things to make her giggle. The mirror never fails.

And she has been cracking up at this Fisher Price animal app I have on my phone. It's annoying as all get out but I'll play it over and over again if I can hear that laugh.

She's currently snuggled up in our bed and I'm listening to her breath as the rain falls.

My heart is full. I am thankful.

...and can I get a hallelujah for the week-long 70 degree weather we have approaching? It's. About. Time. 

J.