I lay here in bed (alone because Tru is on a guy trip) with a heavy and thankful heart.
These past few weeks have been so rich...full of fear and pure joy.
Fear of labor, the fragility of life, motherhood, my lack of grace and patience in times of chaos.
I envision myself clenching onto the sides of my seat like I do in an airplane when it hits a pouch of wind. I have no control. And I find it comforting that the more I just sit still and give these fears to God, the more peace I find.
The joy that comes from carrying a life can't be described. (I have friends who are very talented who could probably do it justice, but I won't try.) I'm enjoying every little twitch and kick like it's the first. When Truman kisses my tummy goodnight I get tears in my eyes thinking about how great of a father he's going to be. I feel so blessed to be at this stage of life...totally unprepared...but blessed :)
These past few weeks have been so rich...full of fear and pure joy.
Fear of labor, the fragility of life, motherhood, my lack of grace and patience in times of chaos.
I envision myself clenching onto the sides of my seat like I do in an airplane when it hits a pouch of wind. I have no control. And I find it comforting that the more I just sit still and give these fears to God, the more peace I find.
The joy that comes from carrying a life can't be described. (I have friends who are very talented who could probably do it justice, but I won't try.) I'm enjoying every little twitch and kick like it's the first. When Truman kisses my tummy goodnight I get tears in my eyes thinking about how great of a father he's going to be. I feel so blessed to be at this stage of life...totally unprepared...but blessed :)
Did a little golfing during week 20 with the fam.
I apologize to anyone who is scarred by this photo, but I just HAD to share. Anthony finally gave Truman his secret Santa gift over the weekend and it was an XL Forever-Lazy...didn't even know such a thing existed, but it provided many laughs/tears for the evening. We belong on that awkward family photos website, no?
20 Weeks
Getting a ton of headaches this week. I never get headaches so I've kind of been a baby about it. The doctor said I was a little dehydrated so I've been constantly chugging water...hope it doesn't last long! My cravings this week have consisted of Starbursts (so weird) and this Parmesan Pesto salad from Bonzai in Grand Island. Oh. My. Gosh. It is so good. I daydream about this salad.
Only one more day that I have to keep baby Faeh's gender a secret! So excited to celebrate with friends and family.
Cheers, J.
2 comments:
I am boycotting your blog until you tell me if it is a boy or girl! PS I am living in gi until Nov. I would like to see you :)
HAHAHA!!! Oh. my. gracious. Even hearing all about you two in that blue thing could not prepare me for the picture. The facial expressions don't help matters. Definitely belongs at the top of the awkward family photos! Too funny!!!
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