Tuesday, December 13, 2011

Right Now

I have been feeling a little lifeless lately. I blame Winter. 
About this time each year I come to the realization that Winter is here and it's not leaving any time soon. I always get over it after a few days of sulking. 

Along with my dramatic fits with the cold weather, I have been struggling with a discontent heart. Go figure! Ever since the day I said "I do" my passions have changed a great deal. Truman jokes that when he first met me back in 2008 he would have never guessed I would be wanting to drop my journey to a "career" to be a stay at home wife and mother. But as I have matured in my faith I can clearly see what I was created to do. I was created to nurture a husband and family. I truly believe that and I think it is the most wonderful thing.

However, this season of our lives doesn't bring that opportunity quite yet. At times I feel like a walking cliche'--newlywed struck with baby fever. Of course it's natural to want to move on to the next step in life, but while I'm focusing on that step I'm forgetting to enjoy this time that I have alone with my husband. It is precious time that I know I won't get back once we start a family.

So as I think about goals for this next year, I'm going to focus on enjoying what I have right now. I have to constantly remind myself that God's timing is perfect. That he put these desires in my heart for a reason, but I should be spending my time enjoying my husband and the freedom we have for the time being. 

I re-started my favorite study called "Calm My Anxious Heart" by Linda Dillow. She has some great advice...

"Ultimately, contentment is more a shift in attitude than a change in circumstances."

"Contentment is essentially a matter of accepting from God's hand what He sends because we know that he is good and therefore it is good."

I knew that the only way to get myself out of this rut was to give thanks. Man, it wasn't easy. And my list started small. But I'll never stop thanking the One who gives.

259. Rest
260. Spontaneous dates
261. Time to notice his gifts
263. Time to devote to him

Cheers, Jord.


Anonymous said...

I remember just like it was yesterday, Jordan! Waiting IS hard. And we would have liked to have a baby an entire year before we actually did... but looking back I am thankful for the time we had alone, together. I know everyone says that but it's true. You don't regret the time you had together.
On the other hand, it's totally awesome and I'm so excited for you when "it's time." :)

Anonymous said...

Ahhh...beautifully written thoughts! I agree with Sarah, I ("we", actually)LOVE thinking back to our time together before kiddos. We have such fun memories and adventures together, just the two of, doing everything together. Treasure those moments: the staying up all night and then lying in bed till noon on a rainy day talking and dreaming and doing whatever you feel like;), a whole afternoon spent on a favorite couple hobby (ours was a trip to the park with a 6 miles run and trips to the fitness center), running around your home in your skivvies, making fancy meals that take hours (if that's your thing), waking up next to each other and not having to jump out of bed right away... and on and on. Having said that, as much as I cherish and am thankful for those memories and as important as I think they are...I'm so thankful for my children and echo Sarah in that I'm SOOO excited for when it will be your "season" for children! And can hardly wait! :)

David said...

Awesome blog

Allison Nichole said...

What an honest post! Thanks for sharing.

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