Oh boy. It has been a very tough couple of weeks at the Faeh household.
Both of our jobs have completely drained us and we feel like we are at the end of our rope. Ideally we would like to leave Omaha, but that plan has been more difficult than we thought. When we first started having trouble in Omaha, I was at ease because I knew we would spend a lot of time in prayer and seeking God's will. However, I didn't take into account that MY will may not be God's will. (That's a tough pill to swallow!)
It has been so hard to focus on the good things in our life and I have fallen into the deep hole of discontent. I started to think about eucharisteo. "Giving thanks." The LAST thing I wanted to do while I was pouting all week was give thanks! You see, it's so easy to give thanks when things are going well! When you're having a good day and the birds are chirping and the sun is out. But I wasn't feeling happy, I wasn't feeling thankful, I was downright mad that things weren't going my way! And then I realized... the whole point of practicing eucharisteo is to train yourself to be able to focus on what you do have no matter what the circumstance. I've said it once and I'll say it again (and again...and again) I am not deserving of a single joy I have in this life and I tend to forget that often. God has blessed me with so many great things and that's what I need to be focusing on in a time like this.
So. I got my notepad. I grumbled around the house looking for a pen. And I began to give thanks.
119. Our tears
120. Our vulnerability
121. Breakdowns
122. Chocolate covered strawberries
124. Snuggly coco
125. His strength
126. Candlelight
If you have a list, I'd love to discuss the joys & struggles you're finding along the way.
Cheers, J.
3 comments:
Hang in there, Jordan. It's so tough - I know! We went through a similar experience right after we got married. I really do think about that time often and it makes me SO SO thankful for our (his) job and schedules! Sorry for you though :(
I have a journal that I keep beside my bed, and my rule for that journal is that I can only right down joys and things that I am thankful for. It is such a pleasure to look back and see all the many blessings big and small. I highly recommend the "joy" journal for you :)
I can't believe I spelled "write" incorrectly! I taught English for heaven's sake! This is what five years away from teaching has done to my brain... mush!!!
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