Penny Emerson : 11 Months

Getting this little one to sit still is nearly impossible.

We have been giggling a lot this month. She loves making us laugh and I love seeing those two front teeth. I feel more affection from her lately. She gives lots of slobbery kisses and grabs our face. My FAVORITE night ever was a few nights ago when she was a little congested. She woke up crying in the middle of the night and when I went to pick her up, she nestled her head into my neck and fell asleep while I rubbed her back. I contemplated whether sleeping upright in the rocking chair was do-able because I just couldn't set her down, but eventually had to. She has been holding tightly to my arm when I hold her, as well. I just get the sense that she really wants to be close to her mama and I'm okay with that.

She is the most social baby. Going anywhere with her is so much fun. I'll be concentrating on my grocery list and I'll hear her giggle only to look up and see her smiling at a stranger down the aisle. She'll give a big grin for anyone who looks her way. She also refuses to face forward in the cart--always has to see what's going on. 

She took her first steps the other day! I wasn't expecting it because she seems so content with crawling right now (she's a ridiculously fast crawler) but she was standing by herself, took three steps towards her books, and fell on her bottom. I screamed with excitement and she looked up at me like I was a crazy woman (I am). We keep trying to practice with her but she only wants to walk on her terms. She can only do 2-3 steps at a time right now but she sure does love the applause she gets afterward :)

She is SO much smarter than I realize. Anytime the TV is on or we are at a game, she will start clapping when she hears the audience/crowd clapping. Sometimes I won't even notice the audience cheering and she'll start clapping along. She's also speaking pretty well. I don't really think she knows what she's saying but she says "daddy" "hi" "uh oh" "yum" and "okay". And when I ask her what the cow says she puts her lips together and makes an "mmmm" sound. I geek out and get really excited every time :)

I went to pick her up from nursery this Sunday and as I stood in line I peered through the door and watched her playing with the other kids. She looked so grown up and it made me teary-eyed and so proud. (And then it hit me that if we decide to put her in a classroom I will be a hot mess when I can't watch her every move!) We stood at the back of the auditorium singing worship songs, her hand stretched high in the air, and I felt so incredibly happy to be her mama.

Baby Faeh // halfway

I knew with our second baby I wouldn't have as much time to sit around and document every little change as the pregnancy progresses. I no longer pour over countless pregnancy websites and books trying to obtain every ounce of information I can. I do my best to be well-rested and well-fed and Penny takes care of the exercise :) It's a different experience the second time around. I have less time to think about the pregnancy which has actually made it go by WAY faster. I can hardly believe I'm already halfway there! We find out the gender in a week and I am SO excited. Knowing a little more about who your baby is makes it more personal and easier (for me) to bond. Plus I'm ready to start the naming battle with Truman (he hates everything I love!) In the meantime, I wanted to dedicate a little post to the first half of my pregnancy. 

12 Weeks

13 Weeks

15 Weeks

16 Weeks

19 Weeks

Though this pregnancy has seemed harder (with less time to relax and much more fatigue) I am loving being pregnant. With my new diet restrictions, I had a very hard time enjoying food (which wasn't the case last time around) but I feel pretty comfortable now. What surprised me most this time around was how sore I was from the beginning. Things didn't get uncomfortable until the 3rd trimester last time and I can barely walk around the block without having my legs and hips killing me.

My cravings have been pretty similar to last time's with a few exceptions. This time I am eating lots of apples with maple almond butter, jalapeno baked potato chips, cinnamon gum (?? haven't had this stuff since I was a kid and all the sudden started craving it!), chocolate, snow cones,  and I crave anything and everything with pasta or bread in it. I've been able to find a few gluten free pasta dishes but for the most part I just can't indulge in that craving...major bummer.

I started feeling really faint movement at 16 weeks. At 18 weeks, I felt the first legitimate kick and bulge. With Penny, my placenta was in the front so I couldn't feel movement until about 20 weeks so I was thrilled to be enjoying it much earlier this time. It was so distinct, in fact, that Truman could feel it as well. I have been having a lot more braxton hicks contractions this time and they started at about 14 weeks. Unfortunately the cure for those is drinking water and I hate. drinking. water.

Being pregnant again has been a real blessing. My body is constantly reminding me that I need to slow down. I can't do it all and that's okay. I'm learning that taking care of myself and my family comes WAY before a clean house, fun homemaking things, and errands. It's hard to imagine what life will be like with two children. I remember with Penny it never felt real until right at the end. And of course people tell me over and over that it will only get harder--I'm so aware of that. And to be honest I fear it a little. The post partum depression, having a baby in the winter (when I'm already cold and depressed), the recovery process, the financial aspect, SLEEP. But if I have learned one thing in my first year of motherhood it's that the moments of complete exhaustion (the kind you didn't know was possible to reach), repetitive days, messy hair, and takeout for the third night in a row are SO worth the absolute joy of children. I know I can survive life with two babies because I have survived life with one. It will be messy, I'll struggle daily with leaning on the Lord instead of trying to "measure up" but I'm just so excited for it.
Here's to hoping the second half is as fast as the first! (And that baby Faeh doesn't have his/her legs crossed at our ultrasound next week...)

J.

Needed.

I went in to check on her since she had been quiet for a while. Expecting to find a sleeping baby, I instead found a little girl sitting quietly with her blanket over her head. Not sure how it got there. Not sure why she didn't pull it off (she knows how) or why she didn't cry for help. I gently pulled it off and she reached her arms towards me begging to be picked up. 

Lately she has been wanting to put herself to sleep. My days of rocking her to sleep in my arms are dwindling and even though I thought I would enjoy the extra time to myself I'm having a harder time letting go than I thought. I pulled her into my arms and she nestled into my neck. I thought I would give the ol' cradle a try so I gently swayed and hummed "you are my sunshine" with her long body wrapped around my waist. She didn't protest like usual. Instead she stared quietly at me with only a sliver of light coming from the living room. With each sway her eyelids grew heavy and the all-too familiar memories of her time spent in my arms came rushing back. The sweet relief of a surrendered baby. Comfortably curled in the bend of my arm, her right hand barely holding onto my shirt. She pierced her lips as though she was still sucking on her bottle and I began to cry.

Suddenly that overwhelming gratitude came over me. The kind that you always know is there, but only shows it's face from time to time if you're lucky to let it in. I was so aware in that moment that this was a child of God. She wasn't mine, but she has been entrusted to me. What a high calling that is often overlooked. I began to pray over her in a deeper way than I ever had before. Prayers for inner beauty, a desire to know Christ and follow Him, a fascination with the stories of the Bible, a hunger for the Word. I prayed that she would be blessed with great, godly friendships and that she would fall in love with a man who lived for the Lord. I prayed that she would not fall into the traps of this world, that she wouldn't find value in the fleeting--appearance, possessions, status. That her life would be an example of the humility Christ endured for us.

My little girl will soon be one. She'll be entering a new stage of creativity, awareness, and connection. I'm excited for what's to come and I know that all too soon I'll blink and she'll be entering elementary school. I'll blink again and see her with diploma in hand. And, Lord help me, with another blink she'll be waltzing down the aisle in a gorgeous white dress. And I hope that in those moments, I'll be able to remember the time when all she needed was to be cradled by her mama. I am so blessed by this little life. 

I sat there swaying back and forth, humming a little lighter each time the song started again, with a hand on my growing baby and an arm wrapped around my growing little girl. The light exhale through her nose brushing my face softly. I couldn't bring myself to lay her down. I lightly kissed her lips and felt complete, fulfilling joy.

Penny Emerson // 9 & 10 Months

 I totally skipped Penny's 9 month happenings so this is a post over the last few months. 

As always, her personality continues to develop and she gets more curious as she reaches another milestone. I have so much fun watching her play and discover. I'm finding that the older she gets, the more fun we have AND the stronger the trials become. Because she is so strong-willed and outgoing she is equally challenging and fun. She makes us laugh with all her quirks and she brings Truman and I closer as we continue to work as a team to raise her. 

Here are a few pictures from 9 months:

I love our tickle sessions so much. She laughs so hard she can't breathe. 

She loves her daddy.

She experienced fireworks for the first time and it was hilarious to see her reaction. We were sitting right under them so it was pretty loud. At first she was scared, then she gave them the snuffy face because they were bright, and then she was in complete awe. 

10 month happenings:

There is no sitting still. She's constantly on the move, pulling herself onto things, climbing onto things. Anything she's not supposed to get into she will find. Every time. It's hard for me not to get frustrated when I have to constantly redirect her, but I have to remind myself that she doesn't know what's right or wrong (yet). Everything is new and exciting to her...even the nasty piece of plastic under the fridge that she is fascinated with. 

She rode the four wheeler for the first time this weekend while we were back in Central City. Her face was stunned the whole time.

Though we have been finding it difficult to settle into Omaha, they have so many great activities to offer in the Summer. We took her to Jazz on the Green last week and she had a blast. She loves to be around all the action and attention. 

Milestones:

-standing by herself for about 30 seconds

-has three teeth poking through

-HAIR! Kind of :) It's getting fuller in the back. I'm sure she'll have a sweet mullet in no time.

-learned how to give kisses (or she at least opens her mouth and leans forward so you can do it)

-LOVES to climb the stairs. She would do it for hours if I would let her. Because of the set up of our stairs, we don't have a gate. I have to watch her closely, but we decided we just want to teach her how to use them. 

Trials:

-as I mentioned earlier, she is a very strong-willed girl. She definitely gets that from me. And even though there are obvious negatives to that personality (like screaming at the top of her lungs when she doesn't get her way) I think a go-getter personality can be a very good thing when channeled correctly. She is naturally a very loud baby. She screams and cries easily. I'm nervous/excited to teach her that it's okay to feel upset or sad when she doesn't get her way, but that it's not okay to act out. I'll need a lot of patience through this lesson :)

Things I don't want to forget:

-The way she rubs her blanky in her eye while I'm rocking her to sleep

-The very light, natural wave in the back tufts of her hair

-Watching her make herself laugh in the rear view mirror

-The way she giggles and dives into her blanky when I make waves with it

-The way she claps immediately after she takes a bite of food or gives a kiss

-Listening to her talk to herself from the other room as she drifts to sleep

-The way she aggressively crawls toward everything and starts to laugh, especially when she knows I'm chasing her from something she shouldn't be getting into. 

I am continually reminded at how blessed I am to be her mother. I'm thankful that we are the family God chose to put her in. She's a weirdo just like us and I'm thankful for the many fun memories we made over the summer as a family of three!

Worship Essentials

Recently I confessed my frustration with the lack of variety and style on Christian radio stations. I have always been careful to bite my tongue on the issue because the most important thing about Christian music and radio is that it's inspiring us to worship Christ throughout my day. I also don't want to offend anyone who enjoys the music as-is on the radio currently. Worship is worship, whether it fits my style or not and ultimately it's a matter of the heart. So I want to explain that I understand that.

With that being said, I feel like there is a HUGE world of wonderful Christian music that many don't know about because, honestly, Christian music doesn't get a lot of advertisement. So the intention of this post is to share some of my worship essentials for those who are like me and are looking for a little variety. If you don't want to take the time to look these up yourself, you can just go to my Spotify playlist and listen here: Worship. I update it every now and then when I come across a song or band that I really like. It's a wide range of stuff but it's like my own personal radio :)

My Essentials:

1. Jars of Clay

If you grew up in the 90's I don't need to even explain. They will always be classic to me.

2. Rich Mullins

I used to stick my nose up at Rich Mullins music because I didn't care so much for his style or voice, but as I've matured and studied how he lived his life I am drawn in by his incredible lyrics. Just do a little searching through his stuff and you're bound to find something. My favorite song is "Calling Out Your Name" and Chris Rice has a great cover of it. (On my worship playlist)

 3. Chelsea Moon and Uncle Daddy

4. The Lower Lights

 

These guys have some amazing covers of classic hymns. However, I feel like I need to state that they are Mormons and not every song is a hymn. So search wisely, but they have some really amazing stuff. 

5. Page CXVI

 

These guys are probably one of my favorites. They have quite a few albums out (and recently announced a big project that will release albums during the major holidays). And for you mama's out there, they have an AMAZING lullaby album. My favorite.

6. Bethel Music

One of my favorite songs.

7. Bethany Dillion

 

She does a cover of Rich Mullins' "You Did Not Have a Home" and it is incredible. This EP is one of my favorites.

8. Ellie Holcomb

 

Wife of Drew Holcomb (of Drew Holcomb and the Neighbors). Sadly this is her only solo album out right now but it is one of my all. time. favorites. I read somewhere that she is working on a second, thank goodness!

9. Hillsong United

Given.

10. The Welcome Wagon

   

If you're a fan of Sufjan Stevens, you'll be a fan of this couple. Some of it gets a little too weird for my taste, but they have a version of "There Is a Fountain Filled With Blood" that I LOVE.

My list could go forever (it kind of did, sorry) and there are so many great songs out there (most of them on my playlist) that I wish I could share. And if you think I'm missing something please share! I love exploring new music. I hope you can find something you enjoy and something that ultimately allows you to worship Christ throughout your day.

Cheers, Jord.

Mini Vacation

I love the lake.

I can only do it for a few days at a time until I start to feel hungry for the real world (or at least the comforts of it) but getting away and spending time with my family is always refreshing. 

What I love most about the lake is that it requires very little. Simple food. Simple clothing. Simple entertainment. You sit around with people you love, laughing and telling stories (sometimes over and over again :), without needing to look at the clock. Everyone's without makeup, skin-drenched in sunscreen with dirty hair up and out of the way. Any attempt to be stylish and impressive is peeled away like a day-old sunburn. I strive for my life to be like that all the time. To focus more on the company and less on the image I display of myself (but more on that another time...). 

I have great memories of growing up around the lake and it was special for me to introduce Penny to that little piece of my life. The family welcomed her with open arms (even the 6:30am alarm clock she came with) and she came home full of more love and empty of any energy she brought with her. That's how the lake should be.
My family is the kind that refuses to let you have anything but a good time. They don't need much to be happy and that's what I love about them. Hobo's and silly yard games can only be fully enjoyed around them and I even willingly admit my genuine love for Journey, Boston, and Huey Lewis and the News...but only when they're around ;)

This is Penny's first experience of the lake!

 Her favorite part was the sand. She dug around silently for probably an hour. Never once tried putting it in her mouth, just loved transporting it from one bucket to another. I absolutely love watching her discover new things!

 Taking a nap on the deck.

10 weeks pregnant with little baby brother or sister!

 I was a little tense at the thought of sand being EVERYWHERE, but after seeing how much fun she was having I got over that quickly.

We are so thankful for a little mini vacation to the lake. It wasn't easy with a 9 month old, but we still had a blast and we're looking forward to the many more summers to come!
J.

Greener Grass

Disclaimer: I am not a country girl. I’m hardly even a small-town girl. I grew up in a “smaller” town that was a wannabe city. My grandpa was a farmer. And my teenage-self stuck my nose up at the small town, country life because it was too old school. Oh, if only I would have understood how wonderful the country life could be at that age.

A part of my heart belongs here in the po dunk town of Central City. And even though I didn’t grow up here, I fell in love with a man who did. I fell in love with a family who did. The slower pace of life. The empty gravel roads. The casual wave from the truck passing you by, even if they don’t know you. The fluffy, bright green rows of corn that surround your car and make you dizzy if you watch for too long. The overly expensive, quiet grocery store that plays country music as you shop. The sun rising up over the river. The fact that you can ACTUALLY see the sun setting into the ground, without all the ugly celebrity homes in the way. I could go on, but you get the point.

The grass is literally greener in this part of the state. Well, at least there is much more of it and I have a hard time avoiding that mentality. Being in Omaha makes my heart ache for the small-town life. I long for a slow pace of life where you always see someone you know and where it only takes 5 minutes to get across town. I get breathless when we drive through the fields and I see pivots in the distance spraying mist over the corn, the sun turning it to gold. I want to jump out of my skin when the sun creates a haze over the distant trees. It’s all so familiar and I miss it so much. I think that’s the key; familiarity, comfort. I want to feel that comfort again. I grow weary of living in a faceless city where you can disappear if you want to.

But here is where I’m convicted. God doesn’t guarantee a comfortable life. In fact, it’s quite the opposite if you choose to follow Jesus. He says it’s going to be hard. And it has been. And maybe the fact that I live in that faceless town allows me to so richly indulge in the wonderful beauty of the country…and even long for it. Maybe it’s the dream that I like. God has called us to be somewhere we aren’t comfortable at this time in our life I’m trying to remind myself that following Him means letting go of my dreams and asking “what do you want?” Or rather, saying “I’ll do anything, Lord. I’ll go where you lead me.”

So for now, in this messy time of the unknown and unfamiliar, I will take a deep breath and sigh in content of the peace and quiet. Omaha makes the grass (or corn) greener, and it allows me to bask in the charms and comforts of the country. So thanks, Omaha.

Signed,
A city, but closeted country girl.